Amanda Durante
When we began learning about The Wandering Hearts Project, a charitable organization created by Amanda Durante, we read this on their website:
“Foster kids get a trash bag and 10 minutes to pack up their lives. Let's talk about that.”
Yes, let's talk.
Let’s talk about how right now there are about 8,700 kids in foster care in Massachusetts. Of those children roughly 3,050 are between the ages of 12-17. In the U.S., about 20% of teens who age out of foster care become immediately homeless. Amanda gives us a glimpse into their stories. Beginning with her own.
Amanda’s mission:
Empower Foster Children and build their confidence.
People always ask me why and how I got started. I guess my story is two-fold. Since I was young, I knew I wanted to make a positive impact in other people's lives, just as so many people have in my life. I believe that feeling of wanting to help others, coupled with the fact that I was in foster care, is what makes me so passionate about what I do.
During the pandemic, I had the opportunity to become a stay-at-home mom after working in a pharmacy for fifteen years. While I was thrilled to finally get that time with my two boys, I quickly realized how difficult it was for me to stay still. So, when a friend of mine called on a Saturday night in September 2020 with this crazy idea, we turned it into our reality the very next day.
She asked if I had any clothing to donate because she wanted to start collecting for a local social worker she knew. Due to the pandemic, many services were limited and foster closets in her area had very limited hours. Recognizing there was not only a need for quality, stylish clothing for children in foster care, but understanding that foster parents have extremely busy lives and limited budgets, we knew we could provide a valuable service by delivering bags of clothing to kids in care. Instead of handing out generic clothing bags, we wanted to ensure that each child felt special, loved, and knew these bags were curated specifically for them. With that, The Wandering Heart Project (WHP) was born.
The next day, we created a Facebook page and started sharing our mission and need for clothes. The response was incredible—clothes piled high in every room! To date, WHP has delivered more than 1,400 Wander Bags. These bags are assembled after gathering detailed information about the child from the caretaker or the child themself, allowing us to accurately reflect their personality and style in their bag. Each Wander Bag includes seven weather-appropriate outfits, two pairs of shoes, underwear, socks, weather-appropriate accessories, toiletries, and gender/age-specific fun extras. All of these items are packed in a brand-new duffle bag and backpack and delivered to the child.
I take great pride in creating the perfect bag for each child. Having a great outfit and new shoes can make an incredible difference in a child’s confidence. Every child should feel good in their clothes and be able to express themselves through their individual style. For those of us with preteens and teens, we know clothing isn’t cheap, and the stipends foster parents occasionally receive are usually not enough. I often come across people who have the mindset that these kids are “lucky and should be grateful” to have whatever is given to them. I completely disagree. These teenagers deserve the world and then some with all they have been through. When you have half of a high school walking around in a pair of new Nike sneakers on the first day of school, how does the child feel who has dirty, old shoes that don’t fit? They are going to immediately feel insecure and lack confidence and assume that everyone will know they are in foster care or are homeless. So, if we can give that teen several new or gently-used outfits with a brand-new pair of sneakers, why wouldn’t we?
“That is my hope and wish for The Wandering Heart Project: That it becomes a place where teens in foster care know they belong, a community that supports, loves, and welcomes them with open arms, a “home” where healing can take place and a “family” full of unconditional love.”
About a year into WHP, I delivered one of our bags to a teen who had been couch-surfing and moving between foster homes. At the time, he had missed more school days than not. A few days after I delivered his bag, his guidance counselor texted me to say he had been to school every day that week! By providing new clothing, sneakers, and a backpack, we were able to give this teen the confidence he needed to feel comfortable around his peers. Feeling like you “fit in” really matters at that age. Most kids don’t want their peers to know they are homeless or in foster care. By providing quality, trendy clothing, it may be easier for them to feel like they fit in. This experience, and many others, have shown me that building teens’ confidence through clothing is not only possible but essential.
While WHP was created to serve children of all ages in foster care and experiencing homelessness, over the last few years I have come to realize that there aren’t as many programs specifically catering to teens as there are for babies and younger children. While I wish I could help every single child in need, my heart is especially drawn to working with and supporting teenagers.
With so many changes over the last year, our co-founder stepping down, moving into a larger space, and shifting our focus from serving all ages to exclusively supporting preteens and teens, we are also preparing to add our new services. At times, it can feel overwhelming and impossible, but having experienced my own traumatic childhood and the instability of bouncing from home to home, it’s easy to remember my reason for starting WHP and the importance of continuing to grow and expand our efforts.
As an infant, I was in foster care for six months. By the age of 8, I had lived in twelve different places. When my mother and stepfather divorced I went to live with (and was unofficially adopted by) my stepfather and his family. When I was 13 and no longer legally allowed to live with my stepfather because the temporary guardianship had expired, I moved in with my mother. Soon after, I experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted adult for many years. Heading into my senior year of high school, I was given an ultimatum- move into a homeless shelter or go live with a friend.
I was fortunate enough to have my friend and her mother take me in, so I was able to finish my senior year in the same school. Like the majority of my childhood, my teen and early adulthood years were an especially lonely time full of trauma, insecurity, and not knowing who I was or where I belonged. Although I made plenty of mistakes in early adulthood, I feel like I had a better chance of succeeding because of the support system I had. If it weren’t for great friends and family who took me in as their own, it is hard to imagine where I could have ended up.
As I matured and began to heal, I realized how incredibly blessed I am. I have many people who love and treat me as family, as well as a beautiful family of my own. Sometimes, the people who choose us become our family. That is my hope and wish for The Wandering Heart Project: That it becomes a place where teens in foster care know they belong, a community that supports, loves, and welcomes them with open arms, a “home” where healing can take place and a “family” full of unconditional love.
From what I have witnessed, many foster homes are hesitant to take on teens. There is a certain fear or stigma around all teens, but especially those in foster care. But they deserve and need love, patience, and attention just as much, if not more, than younger children in foster care. The amount of trauma these children go through is more than most of us can comprehend.
Children who age out of foster care with minimal support and guidance are more likely to end up in jail (25% within the first 2 years), homeless (20% the minute they age out and an additional 40-50% within 18 months of aging out), or pregnant (71% of females by the age of 21). A significant number of children in foster care tend to repeat the cycle with their own children. Foster teens are 50% more likely to drop out of high school compared to their peers. This could be due to a lack of stability and support, emotional and psychological issues from trauma, or simply not feeling like they belong because they lack basic hygiene products and clean clothing.
We recently had a foster mom reach out for help who was welcoming a teen girl into her home. She expressed what a great child she was, polite, friendly, and helpful. She also expressed that this teen came with absolutely nothing of her own, matted hair and extremely low self-esteem due to bullying from her peers because of the abuse and neglect from her former home. This child wasn’t even allowed to bathe! I was told that this teen cried, begging her new foster mom not to make her go back to school because she thought it would be like every other year. Believe it or not, this teen is one of the luckier ones; she was placed with a wonderful family who brought her to a salon to get her hair fixed, advocated for her, and got her exactly what she wanted and needed. Thanks to our supporters and an Amazon wishlist, WHP was able to get clothing and sneakers to help her go back to school with a little pep in her step. She is actually looking forward to her first day back for the first time ever.
Teenagers in general tend not to consider what they need to do in their teen years to prepare for the future. Let’s be honest, many adults aren't even aware of some of the basics. However, most teens have parents, grandparents, friends, or someone they can trust and rely on as they navigate life's challenges. But what about teens in foster care who are couch surfing, living in group homes, on the streets, or being trafficked? Who is looking out for them, teaching them the basics of self-care, self-love, financial literacy, health, and wellness, cooking skills, grocery shopping, time management, communication skills, house management, and so much more! Who will be there for them in a crisis? Usually, the answer is nobody— at least, in the mind of a teen in foster care. They either lack support or don't trust anyone to support them.
In Massachusetts alone, nearly 30% of the eight thousand foster kids are teenagers between the ages of thirteen to seventeen. And roughly 700 to 800 of those teens age out of foster care each year. We want (and need) to be a continued support for the child no matter where they end up in life or how old they are. Children and teens don’t need conditional or temporary support and love. They need unconditional support and love even from strangers. That’s how we help these children feel like they can trust adults again and in turn trust themselves.
There is a documented connection between foster care and child trafficking. By being able to be a resource and safe place for teens in care, we are hoping to not only educate teens and their caretakers but to ensure that teens don’t feel like they are alone, without anywhere to turn for help. By increasing self-esteem and confidence, we can lower their risk of this happening.
Beginning in early 2025, in addition to distributing our Wander Bags and continuing to grant wishes of foster teens, The Wandering Heart Project will begin offering our Foster Confidence Program. This program is so near and dear to my heart. When a teen doesn’t feel like they belong, whether it be amongst peers or at home, their confidence and self-esteem suffer. Our goal is to help these kids build and maintain their self-esteem and confidence to help them thrive through their teen years and beyond. This program will include life skill classes, group counseling, a personalized shopping experience, and spa days at our new home in Bridgewater. By offering support, mentorship, and resources to foster teens, WHP aims to break the cycle of trauma and provide a pathway to stability and hope that all children deserve.
I encourage anyone who feels the need to help a cause or give back in any way to act on it. We all want the world to be a better, brighter place for the next generation, and that starts with us right now. Whether through volunteering or starting your own non-profit, you may be surprised at what a big impact the littlest of gestures may have in someone else’s life. I truly believe that helping others through The Wandering Heart Project is how I was able to begin my healing journey.
BE A CATALYST
Inspired by Jayd and Shavon? Here are ways you can get involved with her mission:
$10 can provide a child with new pajamas
$20 allows us to buy a box of diapers
$50 will provide a child with a backpack, pair of shoes, 2 outfits and an activity or toy
$100 or more would provide a child with a suitcase, 5 outfits, pajamas, pair of shoes, socks, underwear and an activity.
DONATE CLOTHES & ESSENTIALS With your help, we aim to provide high quality items to all the children we serve because they deserve nothing less. Visit our web site or scan below to find out what we need.
PACK & SORT Help us pack bags for teens and wander bags for local shelters and sort incoming donations
HOST a clothing drive or fundraiser
BUILD We are looking for a contractor and/or corporate donor to help us build our new teen Confidence Closet and Salon
STYLE Once our closet is complete we will be looking for hairstylists, nail techs and barbers to help us pamper the teens! We are also open to any and all suggestions for different programs we can offer to teens and young adults transitioning out of foster care. It takes a village and we’d love for you to be a part of ours!
FOLLOW US on social media (Instagram and Facebook. Share our stories and our posts. Talk to your family and friends and have meaningful conversations about the needs of foster children in your community.
